Dear Friend with Anxiety/Depression,
As you know, I do not have Anxiety or Depression. I don’t fully understand what it’s like to constantly alternate between feeling stuck in the past and worrying about the future.
I have had my fair share of stress and anxiety, but not to the point that it consumes my everyday life. I am a naturally energetic and happy person (Thank you ADHD), and I rarely allow negative experiences to bring me down. I get “the blues” every now and then, but not to the extent that you experience them. The following is a list of apologies, thank-yous, and a few words that I think you should hear.
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I’m Sorry:
-That I get frustrated with you. It’s hard for me to understand you sometimes, because I don’t feel the way you do. But then I think, if it’s this frustrating for me, imagine how frustrating it must be for you.
-That I sometimes ignore your calls and texts. I want to be there for you, but sometimes it can be very stressful. I know it’s not your fault, and that you are worried about bothering me. I will never tell you that you annoy me, because you don’t; but I will take a step back if I am feeling overwhelmed.
-That I can be insensitive at times. What I view as tough love can often be seen as insensitivity. I am not a coddler, and I never have been. There are days that I will respect your choice to just lay in bed, because I know that you need that time to yourself. THEN there are the days that I will come over, rip the covers off, and demand that we go do something productive. Please know that it’s not out of anger. I really do care about your happiness and your health.
Thank You:
-For teaching me patience. There have been times in our friendship where I would say uncaring things because I would get impatient with you. Or I would get angry about you canceling plans, or annoyed because I felt like it was always the same complaints and excuses. But over time I learned more about what you are going through, and I developed patience.
-For reassuring me that I am helping you. I often feel like when I am calming you down that my advice goes in one ear, and out the other. When you tell me that I am helping, it lets me know what works, and what doesn’t. I want to help, I really do. Please continue to let me know when I am helping, and when I am hurting, so I can keep that in my mind for future reference.
-For being there for me. Our friendship is in no way a one-way friendship. I have bad days too, and when I call you in tears, or I’m freaking out about something you are right there to calm me down. You understand more than anybody else about my anxieties, and you always know exactly what to say to me. Thank you for being such a wonderful soul.
But know this:
-I am always here for you. Maybe not always at the exact moment you need me, but I’ll be there for the devestating days when you are truly struggling.
-I will never stop caring about YOU. I don’t care if it’s the same problem or same fears or worries, I will talk you through it all the same. However, please heed my advice. If you ask for my advice and ignore it, I will feel embittered.
-Don’t ever think that you can “annoy away our frienship”. I will let you know when I need to take a step back. It doesn’t mean that YOU are annoying me, it just means that I too have things I need to focus on, and unless your concerns demand immediate attention, I can’t always address them. I know you understand that, and I know you can’t help but feel the way you do. Just keep reminding yourself that if I didn’t want to be your friend, I would’ve walked away a long time ago. (*knock knock* STILL HERE).
-You deserve to be happy. Don’t think for a second that you don’t deserve happiness and love.
-You have told me that you are used to not being happy and that you have learned to accept it…I want you to know that it breaks my heart. Your validation and worth should come from you and nobody else. NOBODY. Not me, not your parents, not our other friends, and certainly not some boy. It should come from YOU. When you discover the things you love in life, happiness will follow.
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I hope you find your inner light soon. In the meantime, I want you to know that I love you, and that I believe in you.
Sincerely,
Your Friend Who is Trying to Understand
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